Unpacking Polyvagal Theory: What It Means for Us Daily and How We Can Apply It to Our Educational and Therapeutic Settings

The human nervous system is a marvel of evolution, intricate in design and complex in function. One aspect that has recently gained attention in the realm of psychology and therapy is the polyvagal theory. I have been using polyvagal theory to help my clients understand their behaviors and reactions and it has been a very helpful tool in my practice. It helps alleviate shame and guilt in many instances as the client comes to realize that their nervous often dictates the best course of action when faced with a traumatic event. I wish I had knowledge of this theory when I was teaching young children, as I know it would have helped me frame some of their behaviors differently and would have allowed for more informed interventions.

Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, this theory provides fresh insights into how our nervous system functions and influences our behavior, emotions, and relationships. Polyvagal therapy, derived from this theory, has promising applications in daily life, therapeutic settings, and even our classrooms. Let’s explore this captivating subject

Deciphering the Polyvagal Theory

Central to the polyvagal theory are three primary systems:

1. Dorsal Vagal Complex (DVC): Think of this as the system that makes you feel “stuck” or immobile, much like freezing, disconnecting or dissociating.
2. Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): This system activates our “fight or flight” response, priming us for immediate action when perceived threats are present.
3. Ventral Vagal Complex (VVC): This system promotes social connection, feelings of safety, and overall calmness.

Our body fluidly navigates between these states based on external and internal cues, particularly concerning safety or threat perceptions.

Everyday Implications

• Stress and Coping: On encountering challenges, an individual might lean into the VVC by seeking social support. If the stressor persists, they might transition to the SNS (agitation) and, if overwhelmed, to the DVC (disconnection).
• Interactions with Others: Recognizing which system is active in someone can foster empathy and enable more understanding interactions.

Therapeutic Insights

1. Trauma Recovery: For those often feeling “frozen” due to past traumas, polyvagal therapy offers an understanding and awareness of self and delivers techniques to re-engage with the present.
2. Building Resilience: Understanding these systems equips individuals to develop coping tools and navigate life’s challenges more effectively.

Educational Implications

Polyvagal theory provides educators with transformative tools:

1. Understanding Classroom Dynamics: Recognizing that a student’s disruptive behavior might be a manifestation of the SNS can shift the intervention from punishment to support.
2. Creating Safe Learning Environments: By fostering classrooms that consistently signal safety, educators can encourage students to engage more from the VVC, optimizing learning and peer interactions.
3. Chronic Stress and Dorsal Vagal Engagement: Children living with chronic stress, whether due to poverty, dysfunctional family life, or trauma, might frequently tap into the DVC. Unlike the typical “fight or flight” response, these children might seem “disconnected” or “distant.” Recognizing this allows educators to differentiate between behavioral issues and stress responses, tailoring interventions accordingly.
4. Trauma-Informed Education: Understanding that a child with trauma history may engage the DVC more than the SNS allows educators to adopt a trauma-informed approach. This means integrating practices that prioritize safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, and empowerment.

Concluding Thoughts

The polyvagal theory provides a profound and practical lens to view human behavior. By embedding its insights into daily life, therapy, and especially education, we can cultivate deeper understanding, foster healing, and promote genuine connection. Whether navigating personal challenges, therapeutic scenarios, or educational environments, the polyvagal perspective is an invaluable compass.

If you are interested in knowing more please email me at: ljbedard.lb@gmail.com. I’d love to share my experience and knowledge with you!

Here are some other resources to further delve into the polyvagal theory, its therapeutic applications, and educational implications:

Books:

1. “The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation” by Stephen W. Porges
   • An in-depth exploration of the theory by its founder.
2. “Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve: Self-Help Exercises for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, and Autism” by Stanley Rosenberg
   • Practical exercises centered around the polyvagal theory.
3. “Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents’ Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience” by Peter A. Levine and Maggie Kline
   • A guide focusing on trauma-informed approaches in parenting, which can also be insightful for educators.

Online Resources:

1. The Porges Institute (website)
   • Offers courses, workshops, and information related to the polyvagal theory.
2. Trauma Informed Schools (website)
   • Focuses on bringing trauma-informed approaches into educational settings.
3. International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (website)
   • Provides research, resources, and training focused on trauma.

Workshops & Training:

1. The Polyvagal Institute
   • Offers workshops and training sessions on the polyvagal theory, both for therapists and educators.
2. ChildTrauma Academy
   • Provides training and resources focusing on the impact of trauma on child development.

“Broken”: A Deep Dive into the Resilience of the Human Spirit

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Dear Valued Readers,

It’s both a pleasure and a personal triumph to share some exciting news with you. I’ve recently had the privilege to be part of a collaborative literary journey that culminated in the co-authoring of a book titled “Broken”. This work, while intense and evocative, is also a testament to the strength and resilience that lies within each of us, waiting to be unearthed even amidst our most challenging moments.

About “Broken”:

“Broken” isn’t just a title; it’s an exploration of human fragility, resilience, and the innate power we possess to rise again. Drawing from real-life experiences, personal anecdotes, and a shared pool of wisdom, this multi-authored book shines a light on the trials we face and the triumphs that can come from them. It serves as a poignant reminder that even in our most fractured moments, there lies an opportunity for growth, learning, and rebirth.

Why You Should Read It:

1. Real Stories, Real Emotions: Every chapter, every story is infused with genuine emotions and experiences. It’s raw, honest, and relatable.
2. Empowerment: “Broken” isn’t just about highlighting pain; it’s about showcasing the power of recovery, healing, and moving forward.
3. Diverse Perspectives: Being a multi-authored work, the book offers a mosaic of perspectives, each bringing a unique voice and viewpoint to the overarching theme.

Limited-Time Offer:

In celebration of its launch, “Broken” is available on Amazon for a special price of just $0.99. This offer is for a limited time, so if you’ve ever been curious about the myriad ways the human spirit can triumph over adversity, now is the perfect time to dive in.

mybook.to/BrokenWWS

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In the vast landscape of literature, “Broken” occupies a unique space – it’s a beacon for those seeking understanding, solace, and inspiration. As a co-author, I’ve poured a part of my soul into its pages, and I genuinely believe it has the potential to touch and transform its readers in profound ways.

Warm regards,

Laurie

The Psych Prof

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Breaking Down Barriers: Addressing Mental Health Discrimination in the Workplace

She had a history of anxiety and depression. She has been plagued with concussions. She had been the primary caregiver for her father throughout 7 months of his illness. When her father passed away, she had been in rehabilitation (paid for by her workplace) for a concussion and a fractured coccyx. The night her father passed away she was tasked with reviving him when her mother called her in the middle of the night. She was unsuccessful. Three weeks later her mother-in-law passed away. She was diagnosed with PTSD. She had heard the whispers for years before that.

“Nobody is that sick from concussions. She is just using it as an excuse to not work”

“Ok, but a concussion doesn’t give you depression and anxiety”

“She’s good, but she misses a lot of work”.

“She missed a lot of work, she always has a different excuse, it’s either depression, concussion or something else. She’s always sick.”

She is me.

I had always recognized the ignorance in those statements, but, still, it was very difficult to rise above them. To go back to work amidst the judgement. To go back to work and be scrutinized, talked about, and micromanaged due to a history of mental health only exacerbated my symptoms.

My anxiety had been so activated at work in the days and months after my father’s passing in that I was diagnosed with functional vomiting – a condition people with anxiety often suffer from. Almost a year my father’s death I had to make the excruciating decision to leave a career that I cherished. I didn’t really have a choice. I took a job with a $20,000 pay cut. That decision saved my life, and the risk was well worth it, however it’s not the case for everyone.

I don’t recount this story to garner sympathy. In fact, the sad fact is that it is an all-too-common experience for many people who suffer from mental illness. I am just one of many. In today’s work environment, and especially post COVID-19, mental health has emerged as a significant concern. With approximately one in five adults in the Canada and the US experiencing mental illness each year, it’s a subject that remains, unfortunately, too often misunderstood or overlooked. This silence perpetuates a hidden, yet rampant issue – mental health discrimination in the workplace.

Mental health discrimination occurs when people with mental health issues are treated less favorably than others. It may take the form of direct discrimination, such as an employer treating an employee differently because of their mental health condition, or indirect discrimination, such as a workplace policy that has a negative impact on people with mental health issues. For instance, an employer might overlook a qualified candidate for promotion due to their history of depression, or a company’s policy might require compulsory overtime, which could disproportionately affect individuals managing mental health conditions.

The prevalence of this issue is alarming. The World Health Organization reports that close to one billion people worldwide have a mental health disorder, with depression ranking as the leading cause of disability. However, stigma and discrimination discourage many from seeking the help they need. In the U.S, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 60% of adults with a mental illness didn’t receive mental health services in the previous year. Moreover, the American Journal of Psychiatry reports that the unemployment rate for people with mental illness is three to five times higher than for those without, highlighting the workplace’s role in this issue.

In this post, we will delve into the impact of mental health discrimination, how to recognize it, and most importantly, how to address it to foster a mentally healthy, inclusive, and psychologically safe workplace for all.

The Impact of Mental Health Discrimination

Mental health discrimination in the workplace profoundly impacts not only the individuals directly affected but the entire organization as well. Let’s unpack these effects:

Impact on Individuals:

1. Deteriorating Mental Health: Experiencing discrimination can worsen existing mental health conditions. The stress associated with unfair treatment can trigger symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
2. Lowered Self-Esteem and Confidence: Employees facing discrimination may begin to doubt their skills and capabilities, impacting their self-esteem and confidence. This can lead to lower job satisfaction and a reduced sense of belonging in the workplace.
3. Reduced Productivity and Performance: The negative psychological effects of discrimination can hinder an individual’s ability to concentrate and perform tasks effectively, resulting in reduced productivity.
4. Reluctance to Seek Help: Employees may be hesitant to seek support for their mental health due to fear of stigmatization or reprisals. This can lead to untreated mental health issues that could potentially escalate over time.

Impact on Organizations:

1. Decreased Employee Engagement: Mental health discrimination contributes to a toxic work environment, which can lower overall employee engagement. Disengaged employees are less likely to put in discretionary effort, leading to decreased performance.
2. High Staff Turnover: Employees who face discrimination or witness such behavior are likely to seek other employment opportunities, leading to high turnover rates. This results in substantial costs related to recruitment, training, and lost productivity.
3. Reduced Innovation and Creativity: A psychologically unsafe environment hinders open communication and the exchange of ideas, stifling innovation and creativity.
4. Legal Consequences: At the federal level, the Canadian Human Rights Act prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability, which includes mental health conditions. It applies to federally regulated workplaces such as banks, airlines, and the federal civil service – At the provincial level, each province has its own human rights legislation, such as the Ontario Human Rights Code, the British Columbia Human Rights Code, and the Quebec Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. All of these codes prohibit discrimination on the grounds of disability and cover most workplaces within their respective provinces. Employers found to be discriminating against employees on the basis of mental health could face legal repercussions, including being ordered to pay compensation to the employee for lost wages and for injury to dignity, feelings, and self-respect.

Recognizing Mental Health Discrimination

Mental health discrimination in the workplace can often be subtle, embedded in everyday interactions and behaviors. It can occur due to misconceptions, stereotypes, and stigmatization of mental health conditions.

Here are some signs to watch out for:

1. Exclusion and Isolation: Employees with mental health issues might be left out of meetings, social events, or important emails. They may be given assignments that keep them isolated from the rest of the team.
2. Unequal Opportunities: This can manifest as employees with mental health conditions being passed over for promotions, career development opportunities, or challenging projects, even when they’re fully qualified.
3. Inappropriate Comments or Jokes: Casual remarks, jokes, or questions about a person’s mental health condition can be discriminatory and create an uncomfortable and hostile work environment.
4. Lack of Reasonable Accommodations: The law requires employers to provide reasonable accommodations for employees with mental health conditions. If an employer denies such requests without valid reason, it can be a sign of discrimination.
5. Differential Treatment: If an employee with a mental health condition is treated differently from other employees in similar situations—for example, more harshly punished for tardiness or minor mistakes—it could be a sign of discrimination.
6. Dismissive Attitude Towards Mental Health: If an employer dismisses or minimizes mental health issues, it can create a discriminatory environment. This might include ignoring complaints about stress, overwork, or harassment, or insisting that an employee should “toughen up” or “get over it”.
7. Retaliation After Disclosure: If an employee faces negative consequences after disclosing a mental health condition—such as being demoted, given a poor performance review, or subjected to increased scrutiny—this could be discriminatory.
8. Violation of Privacy: Sharing information about an employee’s mental health condition without their consent is a form of discrimination.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing and combating mental health discrimination in the workplace. Every employee deserves a safe, respectful, and supportive work environment, and understanding these signs of discrimination is crucial to promoting better mental health practices in workplaces.

Promoting Mental Health Inclusivity

Creating a more inclusive and supportive workplace for those with mental health issues involves both policy changes and shifts in workplace culture. Here are some strategies employers and employees can adopt:

1. Mental Health Policies: Implement clear policies that protect employees with mental health conditions from discrimination. These should include protocols for reporting and handling instances of discrimination and harassment.
2. Accommodations: Provide reasonable accommodations to employees with mental health conditions. This could include flexible working hours, the option to work from home, additional breaks, or adjustments to job responsibilities.
3. Education and Training: Offer regular training sessions on mental health awareness, sensitivity, and anti-discrimination policies. It’s important that all employees, including management, understand what mental health conditions are and how to support coworkers who have them.
4. Open Dialogue: Foster a culture of openness about mental health. Encourage employees to discuss their mental health, if they feel comfortable doing so, without fear of retribution or discrimination.
5. Support Services: Provide access to mental health resources, such as an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), which offers free, confidential counselling to employees. Additionally, providing information about local mental health services can be beneficial.
6. Promote Work-Life Balance: Overwork and stress can exacerbate mental health conditions. Implement policies that encourage a healthy work-life balance, such as limiting overtime, encouraging regular breaks, and promoting the use of vacation days.
7. Leadership: Managers and leaders should model empathetic, inclusive behavior. They should be trained to recognize signs of mental health issues and understand how to support their team members effectively.
8. Recognition and Rewards: Recognize and reward efforts that contribute to a positive, inclusive work environment. This not only boosts morale but also encourages others to follow suit.
9. Diversity and Inclusion Initiatives: Incorporate mental health into diversity and inclusion initiatives, recognizing that mental health conditions are part of the spectrum of human diversity.
10. Seek Feedback: Regularly seek feedback from employees about how mental health is handled in the workplace, and use this feedback to make improvements.

Creating a workplace that is supportive of mental health is not just beneficial for employees with mental health conditions, but for everyone. It fosters a more empathetic, understanding, and productive environment

The Importance of Psychological Safety

Addressing mental health discrimination is a crucial element in establishing psychological safety in the workplace. Psychological safety is the shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. It fosters an environment where individuals feel comfortable expressing and being themselves, sharing concerns or mistakes, and suggesting new ideas without fear of judgment, rejection, or reprisal.

Mental health discrimination erodes this sense of safety, creating a workplace environment where individuals may feel they need to conceal their struggles, avoid seeking help, or even suppress their unique perspectives. This not only harms the individuals in question, but it can also stifle creativity, innovation, and the free flow of ideas, which are vital for a thriving, productive work environment.

By actively combating mental health discrimination, employers can build a culture of acceptance and understanding. This contributes to a sense of psychological safety, as individuals know they won’t be unfairly judged or penalized for their mental health conditions. They feel free to voice their struggles, seek support, and contribute fully to the team’s goals. This sense of safety encourages stronger team cohesion, greater employee engagement, and higher job satisfaction, fostering an environment that supports both individual and organizational success.

It is important to remember that psychological safety isn’t just about preventing discrimination, but about actively promoting inclusion and acceptance, encouraging open dialogue, and providing the necessary support and resources for all employees. In a psychologically safe environment, every employee, regardless of their mental health status, feels seen, heard, and valued. Therefore, taking steps to address mental health discrimination is not just the right thing to do, but it’s also a business imperative.

Tackling mental health discrimination is not only a legal and ethical necessity, but it’s also critical for fostering a healthy, productive workplace. Mental health discrimination leads to a toxic work environment, wherein employees may hide their struggles, suffer in silence, or avoid seeking help due to fear of judgment or retaliation. This breeds dissatisfaction, decreases productivity, and hampers employee engagement and well-being.

In contrast, fostering an inclusive and accepting workplace, where everyone, regardless of their mental health status, feels valued and supported, is integral to creating psychological safety. A psychologically safe environment promotes trust, encourages healthy risk-taking, fosters creativity and innovation, and improves team collaboration. It also empowers employees to voice their struggles and seek necessary help without fear of repercussion.

Therefore, addressing mental health discrimination is crucial not just for individual employees, but also for the overall health, success, and sustainability of the organization. It underscores the organization’s commitment to its employees’ well-being and contributes to a culture that values diversity, inclusion, and mental health. The practice of hiring or promoting “strongmen,” or individuals who may employ autocratic or fear-based leadership styles, over those who demonstrate soft skills such as empathy, active listening, and collaboration, is counterproductive to fostering a psychologically safe work environment. This management style can cultivate an atmosphere of intimidation and hinder open communication, ultimately leading to decreased employee morale and productivity.

It Starts at the Top

Administrators have a significant role to play in reshaping this narrative and prioritizing the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership roles. Emotional intelligence, which includes skills like empathy, self-awareness, and the ability to manage relationships effectively, is increasingly recognized as a critical component of effective leadership.

It’s critical for organizations to reevaluate their hiring and promotion practices to ensure they’re not inadvertently promoting a culture that undermines psychological safety by hiring people who employ “strongman tactics” to accomplish the bottom line. By prioritizing emotional intelligence and soft skills in their leadership, organizations can take a significant step towards combating mental health discrimination and creating a more inclusive and supportive workplace.

Soft skills should not be undervalued; instead, they should be recognized as essential leadership qualities. Leaders who demonstrate these skills can create a safe space where employees feel comfortable expressing their ideas and concerns, contributing to a culture of psychological safety.

Hiring and promoting leaders who understand and embody these principles sends a strong message to employees that their mental well-being is valued. It contributes to the creation of a work environment where employees feel safe to be their authentic selves, fostering greater employee engagement, productivity, and overall job satisfaction.

In conclusion, acknowledging and combating mental health discrimination is not merely a beneficial act but an imperative one in creating a thriving, productive work environment. Shifting away from fear-based leadership and valuing soft skills in our leaders promotes a psychologically safe space where every employee feels seen, heard, and valued.

Such changes require conscious efforts from both employers and employees alike. Yet, the benefits far outweigh the challenges. An inclusive and supportive workplace doesn’t only uplift individuals dealing with mental health issues; it enhances team collaboration, nurtures innovation, and bolsters overall productivity.

When we value people and their mental wellbeing over mere output, we not only create healthier workplaces but also contribute to a more empathetic and inclusive society. It’s a vision worth striving for, and every step we take in this direction brings us closer to that reality. Every workplace that prioritizes psychological safety and inclusivity becomes a beacon, lighting the way for others to follow. The journey may be long, but the destination is undoubtedly worthwhile.

The following are resources for individuals who feel they may be experiencing mental health discrimination in the workplace:

In Canada:

1. Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA): The CMHA offers resources to understand mental health, mental illness, and mental health discrimination. It also provides contacts for crisis centers across Canada.
   • Website: CMHA
2. Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC): Provides resources, tools, and free courses on mental health, discrimination, and workplace safety.
   • Website: MHCC
3. Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC): If you believe you have been a victim of discrimination, the CHRC can provide information on your rights and how to file a complaint.
   • Website: CHRC

In the U.S.:

1. Mental Health America (MHA): The MHA provides resources to understand mental health and mental health discrimination. They also offer a variety of tools and resources for employees and employers to better navigate mental health in the workplace.
   • Website: MHA
2. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI offers support and educational programs for people with mental illness and their families. They also have resources on how to handle mental health discrimination.
   • Website: NAMI
3. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC): If you believe you have been discriminated against at work because of your mental health condition, you can file a Charge of Discrimination with the EEOC.
   • Website: EEOC

Please note, it’s essential to consult with a legal professional if you believe you’ve been discriminated against due to your mental health condition. They can provide you with advice specific to your situation and jurisdiction

For those interested in booking a 1, 2, or 3-hour workshop covering a variety of mental health topics can write to me here for more information.

Those who would like more information and/or to secure a spot at The Healing Journey Retreat in Mexico can sign up for more information here.

Follow LJB and Associates Counseling Services and Laurie on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Youtube, and visit her website for more info!

Understanding Narcissism: More Than Meanness or Spite. It’s Complicated and Nuanced.

Narcissism, often misunderstood, extends beyond mere meanness or spitefulness. It’s a complex personality disorder that can significantly affect interpersonal relationships.

Narcissism Unveiled

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a persistent pattern of grandiosity, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with NPD often have an inflated sense of self-importance and a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

But let’s be clear: narcissism is not synonymous with someone being merely mean or spiteful. Mean individuals might show deliberate unkindness, while spiteful people might seek to annoy or hurt others out of resentment. Narcissists, however, are distinct in their consistent patterns of self-centeredness, entitlement, and disregard for other’s feelings and needs.

Symptoms of Narcissism

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, characterizes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) by the following criteria:

1. Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others
2. Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
3. Self-perception of being unique, superior and associated with high-status people and institutions
4. Needing constant admiration from others
5. Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
6. Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
7. Unwilling to empathize with others’ feelings, wishes, or needs
8. Intensely jealous of others and the belief that others are equally jealous of them
9. Pompous and arrogant demeanor

Please note that according to the DSM-5, for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder to be made, an individual must meet five or more of these criteria.

However, diagnosis should be performed by a qualified professional, as it requires a comprehensive evaluation and the application of clinical judgment.

According to the DSM-5, the prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in the general population is estimated to be approximately 0.5% to 1%. However, it is worth noting that the prevalence might be higher in certain settings such as clinical populations or in certain professions where assertive or dominant traits are highly valued or beneficial.

It’s important to remember that these numbers are estimates, and actual prevalence may vary depending on the population and diagnostic methods used. Additionally, many people with narcissistic traits or behaviors may not meet the full criteria for NPD, and therefore wouldn’t be included in these prevalence estimates.

Understanding the Roots of Narcissism

Although narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is thought to have roots in a complex interplay of genetic and environmental factors, narcissism the specific causes are not well understood. However, some theories suggest that it can be traced back to early life experiences, particularly those related to one’s caregivers and attachment figures.

One common theory is that narcissism may develop as a response to childhood neglect or abuse, or from inconsistent parenting where care and attention were given unpredictably. For example, parents who are excessively adoring and overindulgent one moment, and excessively critical and dismissive the next, could inadvertently promote the development of narcissistic traits in their children. Over time, these children may learn to overemphasize their own importance and develop a defensive sense of superiority to protect themselves from feelings of inadequacy or insecurity.

Narcissistic individuals often grow up in families where vulnerability is viewed as a weakness. This could lead them to hide their feelings of inadequacy or rejection behind a façade of indifference or superiority. Moreover, narcissists may have faced criticism or dismissal of their emotional needs in childhood, leading to a deep-seated sense of worthlessness. To compensate, they may adopt narcissistic behaviors in an attempt to gain the validation and acceptance they craved but did not receive.

It’s important to note that not everyone who experiences these kinds of childhood circumstances will develop narcissism. Personality development is complex and influenced by many factors, including an individual’s genetic predispositions and their specific reactions to environmental stressors.

As always, diagnosis and understanding of such complex psychological conditions should be left to qualified mental health professionals. If you or someone you know seems to be struggling with symptoms of covert narcissism, it may be beneficial to seek out the help of a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist

Different forms of narcissism

Malignant Narcissist

A malignant narcissist is considered to be more harmful and destructive than an individual with ‘typical’ narcissistic traits. While they share many of the characteristics of NPD, such as grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, malignant narcissists also exhibit antisocial traits, including a disregard for the rights of others, deceitfulness, manipulation, and a lack of remorse.

Some distinguishing characteristics of malignant narcissists include:

1. Severe Self-Centeredness: Like individuals with NPD, malignant narcissists believe they are superior to others and have a strong sense of entitlement. However, their self-absorption is typically more extreme and can result in neglect or abuse of those around them.
2. Lack of Empathy: Malignant narcissists have a profound inability to empathize with others. They are often indifferent to the feelings, needs, or suffering of others and may even take pleasure in causing pain.
3. Manipulative Behavior: Malignant narcissists are highly manipulative and exploit others to achieve their own ends without remorse or regret.
4. Aggression and Sadism: Malignant narcissists are often more aggressive than ‘typical’ narcissists and may exhibit sadistic tendencies. This means they derive pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.
5. Antisocial Behavior: They may also demonstrate a consistent pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. This could include behaviors such as lying, deceit, manipulation, and a lack of remorse for their actions.

Overt Narcissism

Overt narcissists represent the stereotype most people envision when they think of narcissism. They display a grandiose sense of self-importance and superiority, showing off their achievements, expecting praise, and demanding the spotlight. Their need for admiration and lack of empathy for others are readily apparent. Their behavior can be construed as arrogant, envious, and entitled.

Covert Narcissism

Covert narcissists, on the other hand, also known as vulnerable or closet narcissists, may seem like a paradox. Unlike their overt counterparts, covert narcissists might come across as sensitive, introverted, and insecure. However, they share the same core characteristics of narcissism: a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and a deep-seated need for admiration.

Unlike the overt narcissist’s conspicuous grandiosity, the covert narcissist’s sense of superiority is less apparent and more insidious. They may present themselves as a victim, misunderstood, or special, fantasizing about their unrecognized talent or uniqueness. They may harbor fantasies of rescuing others, excelling in their field, or finding an ideal love, which in turn, feeds their sense of being ‘special’ or ‘misunderstood’.

Covert narcissists may often feel neglected or overlooked, leading to feelings of resentment and a desire to take revenge on the world that has failed to recognize their superiority. They can be highly defensive and extremely sensitive to criticism, often responding with what is called “narcissistic injury” – intense anger or humiliation.

A covert narcissist may be more difficult to recognize, often leading those in their lives to question their own sense of reality. For this reason, let’s look at a typical portrait of a covert narcissist.

Let’s imagine a character named Faye.

Faye is a striking individual, always immaculately dressed and carrying an air of charisma that’s hard to ignore. She’s vivacious, flirty, and appears to have a wide social circle full of people who are drawn to her charm.

Faye is a master at creating quick, superficial relationships. She starts off strong, showering new acquaintances with attention, praise, and kindness – a process often referred to as “love bombing.” This instant warmth and connection make her irresistible, causing people to quickly consider her a close friend or confidante.

At home, Faye’s controlling nature is more evident. Her partner, often left in the shadows, has long learned to cater to her needs and demands. She sees her partner’s income as her own, spending lavishly on high-end fashion and expensive cosmetic procedures to maintain her appearance. Despite their financial struggles, Faye’s focus remains on her image, viewing her appearance as her ticket to the recognition and admiration she craves.

Criticism is not something Faye handles well. Any comment on her spending habits or behavior is met with instant defensiveness. Faye skillfully flips the conversation, proclaiming herself to be a victim, and accusing others of not understanding her or being envious. This tactic often leaves her partner feeling guilty, further enabling her to maintain control.

Beneath her glamorous exterior and vivacious personality, Faye is an embodiment of a female covert narcissist. Her need for admiration, her lack of genuine empathy, her victim-playing, and her controlling nature all speak to this. Despite her seemingly confident exterior, she is constantly seeking validation from external sources.

Faye has a peculiar way of dealing with illnesses, particularly those of her children. Rather than treating them as unfortunate incidents to be dealt with quietly and privately, Faye seems to exploit these situations as a means to gather sympathy and attention. She dramatically narrates every cough, fever, or rash, presenting each as a near-catastrophic event that she’s courageously managing.

This behavior extends to her own health as well. Faye has a history of exaggerating minor ailments or non-existent ones, turning them into major health crises. She frequently shares these stories with others, weaving narratives of her resilience and bravery in the face of such adversities. These tales are yet another means to elicit admiration and sympathy, positioning herself as the ever-struggling, ever-enduring heroine.

Faye’s tendency to dramatize illnesses serves two key purposes. Firstly, it grants her the attention and sympathy she craves. Each sympathetic nod or concerned comment is a testament to her perceived uniqueness and significance. Secondly, it allows her to maintain control, particularly within her household. Her alleged health issues or those of her children often serve as convenient excuses to evade responsibilities or to justify her excessive spending on health treatments and procedures.

This manipulative exaggeration of illnesses adds another layer to Faye’s covert narcissism. It paints a picture of a woman so entrenched in her need for admiration and control that she willingly distorts reality, turning common incidents into dramatic tales of struggle and survival. It is a strategy that not only maintains her position in the spotlight but also further binds her family to her needs and whims.

Faye’s manipulation extends beyond just illnesses and crises. She has a keen eye for family dynamics and is adept at playing family members against each other. She stokes misunderstandings, miscommunications, and minor disagreements, twisting them into major conflicts. By doing so, she manages to keep everyone off balance and focused on their issues with each other, rather than her behavior.

While Faye claims to be the peacemaker, she is often the instigator, subtly fueling conflicts under the guise of trying to resolve them. This behavior not only keeps her in control but also provides her with a sense of superiority. As family members grapple with their disputes, Faye stands aloof, viewing their struggles as proof of her superiority and their dependency on her.

This behavior is typical of a covert narcissist like Faye. Her constant need for superiority and control drives her to manipulate those around her, turning family relationships into a battlefield of her making. Any threat to her perceived superiority is met with fierce resistance and malice, making it extremely difficult for anyone to confront or challenge her. Her tactics are insidious, often leaving those around her confused, divided, and uncertain about the reality of their experiences.

Faye’s manipulative behaviors are often veiled by her charm and superficial warmth, making it incredibly difficult for those around her to identify her as a covert narcissist. The realization of her true nature can indeed take years, even decades, to fully manifest.

Covert narcissists like Faye are masters of deception. They construct a façade of sympathy, charisma, and victimhood that masks their manipulative and controlling behaviors. Faye’s love bombing at the onset of relationships, her ability to present herself as the victim, and her knack for diverting blame away from herself all serve to deceive those around her.

At first, people might interpret her actions as eccentricities or individual quirks. Her extravagant spending might be seen as a love for fashion, her control over her husband may appear as a balance of power in their relationship, and her manipulation of illnesses could be perceived as an excessive concern for health.

However, as the years pass, patterns start to emerge. The continuous cycle of love bombing followed by emotional distancing, the persistent avoidance of personal responsibility, the constant need for admiration, the manipulation of family members – these behaviors start forming a puzzle that, when pieced together, paints a clear picture of covert narcissism.

In the face of this realization, many might grapple with feelings of confusion, betrayal, and even guilt for not recognizing the signs sooner. It’s crucial to remember that covert narcissists, like Faye, are adept at manipulation and deceit. It’s their proficiency in concealing their true nature that allows them to maintain control and feed their need for superiority and admiration. Covert narcissists like Faye are highly skilled at maintaining their carefully constructed facades. They are adept at manipulating others’ perceptions to ensure they are seen in the light they prefer.

If those around her continually acquiesce to her demands and behaviors, Faye’s true nature may never be fully revealed. This is because constant acquiescence serves as a validation for Faye. It reinforces her belief in her own superiority and confirms her perception that she is deserving of special treatment.

Confrontation or questioning could potentially disrupt Faye’s façade, prompting her to reveal her more manipulative and malicious behaviors. However, in the absence of such challenges, she can continue maintaining her charming disguise indefinitely. In this context, Faye’s covert narcissism functions as a self-perpetuating cycle. As long as those around her continue to cater to her whims and accept her behavior without challenge, Faye can keep her true nature hidden, maintaining the illusion of the charismatic, victimized heroine she portrays herself to be.

It’s worth noting that the perpetuation of this cycle often leads to significant emotional and psychological harm for those close to Faye. In order to protect themselves, it’s crucial for them to recognize the signs of covert narcissism, establish strong boundaries, and seek support from mental health professionals if needed.

The realization, when it comes, is the first step in dealing with a covert narcissist. It allows individuals to re-evaluate their relationship with the narcissist, establish firm boundaries, and seek support when needed. It’s a challenging journey, but one that eventually leads to understanding and recovery.

Navigating Covert Narcissism

Dealing with a covert narcissist can be particularly challenging because their behaviors may initially draw sympathy rather than alerting to the presence of narcissism. However, strategies such as the following can help guard against getting entangled in their manipulation.

1. Establish boundaries: Clearly communicate what is acceptable behavior in your relationship. This might be difficult as narcissists often don’t respect boundaries, but it’s an important step.
2. Don’t take it personally: Remember that a narcissist’s behavior is about them, not you. Their lack of empathy and need for admiration are manifestations of their disorder.
3. Practice self-care: Emotional involvement with a narcissist can be draining. Prioritize your wellbeing and engage in activities that reduce stress and enhance your mood.
4. Seek support: If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide strategies to manage your relationship and maintain your mental health.
5. Consider your options: In some cases, distancing yourself from the narcissistic individual might be the best course of action. Remember, you have a right to be in healthy and respectful relationships.

Recognizing the varying presentations of narcissism, like malignant, overt and covert types, offers a more nuanced understanding of this complex personality disorder. By doing so, it equips us with the knowledge to interact more effectively with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits, while safeguarding our own emotional well-being.

For more information on Narcissism:

1. Books:
   • “The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family” by Eleanor Payson
   • “Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed” by Wendy T. Behary
   • “Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Karyl McBride
2. Websites:
   • Mayo Clinic’s Overview on Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Mayo Clinic NPD
   • Psychology Today’s Narcissism Topic Page: Psychology Today
   • Medline Plus’ resource on Narcissistic personality disorder: Medline Plus
3. Videos:
   • Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s YouTube Channel, which covers a variety of topics related to narcissism: Dr. Ramani’s Youtube Channel
4. Support Groups:
   • The Narcissist Family Files offers a list of online support resources for people dealing with narcissists: Narcissist Family Files Resources

Remember that while these resources can provide valuable insights and advice, they are not a replacement for professional help. If you are dealing with a situation involving narcissism and it’s causing distress, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for personalized support and guidance.

For those interested in booking a 1, 2, or 3-hour workshop covering a variety of mental health topics can write to me here for more information.

Those who would like more information and/or to secure a spot at The Healing Journey Retreat in Mexico can sign up for more information here.

Follow LJB and Associates Counseling Services and Laurie on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Youtube, and visit her website for more info!

What to Expect at a Healing Retreat: Your Guide to Transformative Wellness

In recent years, wellness retreats, specifically healing retreats, have seen a significant rise in popularity. They offer an immersive environment that promotes self-discovery, healing, and personal growth, unlike a traditional vacation. If you’re considering taking part in a healing retreat but aren’t sure what to expect, this guide is for you.

The Healing Retreat Experience

A healing retreat provides a dedicated space and time for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation. These retreats often take place in tranquil locations – think serene beachfront properties or tranquil mountain escapes – offering participants the dual benefit of experiencing nature’s healing power and a peaceful environment away from daily stressors.

Personalized Approach to Wellness

One of the hallmarks of a healing retreat is the personalized approach to wellness. Organizers of these retreats understand that each participant has unique needs and healing paths. Therefore, healing retreats often feature a variety of activities and sessions, from group therapy and workshops to one-on-one counseling sessions.

Therapeutic Modalities

Expect to encounter a variety of therapeutic modalities at a healing retreat. This can include mindfulness and meditation, yoga, breathwork, and other somatic therapies. Retreats often also incorporate holistic healing practices like Reiki, sound healing, and even nutritional counseling, providing a comprehensive approach to wellness.

Nourishment for the Body and Mind

Food plays a crucial role in these retreats, with a strong emphasis on nutrition to support both physical and mental wellbeing. Meals at a healing retreat are typically wholesome, plant-based, and designed to nourish the body and mind.

Building Connections

Healing retreats are also about building connections. These retreats foster a sense of community, where participants can share their experiences, learn from each other, and form supportive connections that often continue long after the retreat concludes.

A Journey of Self-Discovery

Above all, a healing retreat is a journey of self-discovery. It’s an opportunity to explore different aspects of your wellbeing, identify areas you want to improve, and gain tools and techniques to support your journey towards holistic health.

Healing Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

If this has piqued your interest, consider joining our upcoming healing retreat in Tulum, Mexico, from January 7 to January 14, 2024. This retreat offers a transformative experience, combining therapeutic practices, self-reflection, and a stunning natural environment for an immersive healing journey. Visit https://www.thehealingjourneyretreats.com/mexico-retreat for more information

If you’d like to book an online, one on one, or group therapy session for symptoms manifesting from trauma or adverse childhood experiences and live in Canada, you can book an appointment here.

Fostering Secure Attachment and Trauma-Informed Practices: Supporting Our Educators and Nurturing Resilience in Education

As a teacher for more than 20 years, I have seen the pretty words dedicated to the homepages of school boards across Quebec. I’ve sat for countless hours in staff meetings working on mission statements and school success plans. I have sat on anti-bullying bullying committees and governing boards. The nice words appear like an aesthetically pleasing book cover with a socially relevant and captivating title, however, once the book is opened, we see that it is empty. Plans are nice and good intentions are a fantastic start, however lack of follow through and the reliance on the traditional and ill-suited ways of the past often remain the mainstay. Once the ripples reach the shores where the students and educators are, sending out the distress signals, nothing has changed. The captains of the ship can often be seen from a distance shouting that help is on the way, but help rarely reaches the island.

In an era where the holistic well-being of students is gaining recognition as a vital aspect of education, fostering secure attachment and trauma-informed practices have emerged as powerful tools in nurturing resilience and supporting students’ mental health. Follow through and commitment is needed. This article explores the interconnectedness of trauma, attachment, and the window of tolerance, shedding light on the impact of adverse experiences on attachment security. Furthermore, it emphasizes the pivotal role of trauma-informed schools in creating safe and nurturing environments for students to thrive and supporting our educators in deliver this education. By equipping educators with the knowledge and tools necessary to navigate the complexities of trauma, adverse experiences, and attachment disruptions, we can pave the way for a future that prioritizes evidence-based practices and resilience in education.

Understanding the Interplay between Trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences, Attachment, and the Window of Tolerance

Trauma refers to deeply distressing and overwhelming experiences that exceed an individual’s capacity to cope effectively. Traumatic events can include physical or sexual abuse, neglect, natural disasters, accidents, or witnessing violence. Trauma can have significant impacts on a person’s emotional, psychological, and physical well-being, leading to a range of symptoms such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, anxiety, and difficulty with trust. It’s not just trauma that can impact a child; adverse experiences, including chronic stress, can also affect their ability to regulate and tolerate stressors. Adverse experiences encompass a range of challenging circumstances that can disrupt a child’s development and well-being. These experiences can include:

1. Childhood Adversity: Adverse experiences during childhood, such as neglect, physical or emotional abuse, household dysfunction, or exposure to violence, can have a profound impact on a child. These experiences can overwhelm their coping mechanisms and lead to dysregulation in response to stressors.
2. Chronic Stress: Prolonged exposure to stressful situations, such as poverty, family instability, community violence, or parental substance abuse, can result in chronic stress for children. Chronic stress can contribute to a dysregulated arousal state, making it challenging for children to effectively manage and cope with stressors in their environment.
3. Disrupted Attachment: Attachment disruptions, such as inconsistent caregiving, separation from caregivers, or loss of a significant attachment figure, can significantly affect a child’s ability to regulate emotions and tolerate stress. Disrupted attachment relationships can lead to difficulties in establishing a sense of safety and trust, which can impact their window of tolerance.
4. Bullying at home or at school: Bullying can cause profound emotional distress, leading to feelings of fear, humiliation, shame, and helplessness. The child may experience persistent anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and a loss of trust in others. These emotional experiences can have long-lasting effects on their overall well-being and self-perception and lead to social Isolation, as bullying often targets a child’s social relationships, resulting in social exclusion, rejection, or alienation. The child may feel isolated, struggle to form trusting relationships, and experience difficulties in social interactions. The sense of being socially disconnected can exacerbate the emotional impact of bullying and further contribute to feelings of loneliness and vulnerability.

Attachment is the emotional bond that develops between a child and their primary caregiver, typically established during infancy. Attachment theory, pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby, emphasizes the critical role of secure attachment in shaping a child’s socio-emotional development and relationships throughout life. Secure attachment is characterized by a consistent and responsive caregiver who provides a safe and nurturing environment for the child, fostering a sense of trust, safety, and emotional regulation.

Insecure attachment can manifest in different patterns:

• Anxious Attachment: Children with anxious attachment may exhibit clingy behaviors, seek excessive reassurance, and struggle with separation anxiety. They may have difficulty regulating their emotions and have a heightened fear of abandonment.
• Avoidant Attachment: Children with avoidant attachment may avoid seeking comfort or connection from caregivers, display independence at an early age, and have difficulty expressing their emotions openly. They may develop self-reliance as a way to cope with unmet emotional needs.
• Disorganized Attachment: Children with disorganized attachment often exhibit inconsistent and contradictory behaviors, displaying a mixture of anxious and avoidant tendencies. They may exhibit fear or confusion in the presence of their caregiver and struggle with regulating emotions and behavior.

Studies conducted using self-report measures, such as the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) or self-assessment questionnaires like the Relationship Scales Questionnaire (RSQ), have found that approximately 40-50% of adults classify themselves as not having a secure attachment style. It is worth mentioning that attachment styles are not necessarily fixed or static; they can be influenced by various factors and may change over time. Additionally, attachment styles can differ in different relationships or contexts. Therefore, understanding attachment as a dynamic and evolving process allows for the potential for individuals to develop and cultivate secure attachments throughout their lives, even if they may have experienced insecure attachments or if they were developed in their family of origin. Teachers and other caregivers have significant power to influence positive attachment, particularly if they understand how insecure attachments can be exacerbated and secure attachment can be cultivated by their behavior.

The concept of the window of tolerance, introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, refers to an optimal range of arousal within which an individual can effectively regulate their emotions and cope with stressors. When a person’s arousal level falls within their window of tolerance, they can maintain a state of balance, engage in adaptive coping strategies, and respond to challenges with resilience and most importantly, when thinking about children in an educational setting, allow learning to occur. The ability to recognize a child’s optimal window of tolerance, when they are in actively engaged in hyper and hypo arousal states can significantly impact an educator’s ability to co-regulate a child’s arousal state and better manage the overall behavior in the classroom.

Trauma or ACEs can significantly impact attachment patterns and the regulation of arousal states, which are closely intertwined processes in human development. Arousal regulation which refers to the ability to manage and modulate one’s physiological and emotional responses to stressors are as stated above, crucial in a child’s ability to being emotionally “online” to receive new learning.

We know that children who have experienced neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving may develop insecure attachment patterns. To re-iterate children may exhibit anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, or disorganized attachment behaviors. These attachment patterns reflect adaptive strategies that children employ to cope with a lack of safety, predictability, and responsiveness in their caregiving relationships.

As we know, trauma and adverse experiences can dysregulate the arousal states of children, when trauma overwhelms an individual’s coping mechanisms, their window of tolerance narrows, leading to dysregulated states of hyperarousal or hypoarousal.

• Hyperarousal: Trauma or ACE can result in heightened states of hyperarousal, where individuals may experience intense anxiety, irritability, hypervigilance, and an exaggerated startle response. These hyperaroused states can be triggered by reminders or cues associated with the traumatic event, leading to an increased sense of threat and a reduced capacity to modulate emotional and physiological responses. The triggers are often unconscious and can be received by neuroception, making some behaviors seem to appear “out of nowhere”.
• Hypoarousal: On the other hand, trauma can also lead to states of hypoarousal, characterized by emotional numbness, dissociation, withdrawal, and a sense of emotional shutdown. Individuals in hypoaroused states may feel detached from their surroundings, exhibit reduced emotional responsiveness, and struggle with concentration and engagement. With younger children this may look like, distractibility or daydreaming.

By promoting secure attachment relationships, individuals affected by trauma can experience healing and expansion of their window of tolerance. Secure attachments provide a foundation of safety, trust, and support, facilitating the development of effective emotional regulation skills and resilience in the face of adversity. Through appropriate interventions, supportive relationships, and trauma-informed practices, it is possible to promote secure attachment and expand the window of tolerance for children impacted by emotional dysregulation.

The Role of Trauma-Informed Schools in Supporting Students’ Mental Health and Learning

Trauma-informed schools approach education with a deep understanding of trauma’s effects on students and recognize that traditional disciplinary approaches may not be effective in addressing their needs. Instead, they prioritize creating a safe and supportive learning environment that nurtures students’ well-being and helps them develop the necessary skills to thrive academically and socially.

The need for trauma-informed schools is further highlighted by the intersectionality of trauma with various social issues prevalent in Canadian society. Students from marginalized communities, including Indigenous populations, racial and ethnic minorities, and those facing socioeconomic challenges, may disproportionately experience trauma. Trauma-informed practices in schools can play a crucial role in addressing equity, inclusion, and social justice concerns by providing targeted support and interventions for these students.

The significance of trauma-informed schools lies in their ability to address the diverse needs of students, including those who may be dealing with the effects of trauma. Here are some key aspects of their importance:

1. Creating Safe and Nurturing Environments: Trauma-informed schools prioritize creating physically and emotionally safe environments where students feel secure, valued, and respected. This includes establishing clear behavioral expectations, promoting positive discipline practices, and fostering a culture of empathy, understanding, and inclusivity. By providing a supportive and nurturing environment, trauma-informed schools help students feel safe to learn and grow.
2. Understanding the Impact of Trauma: Trauma-informed schools educate staff about the effects of trauma on students’ development, behavior, and learning. They raise awareness about how trauma can manifest in various ways, such as academic difficulties, emotional dysregulation, social withdrawal, or disruptive behavior. By understanding these impacts, educators and paraprofessionals can respond compassionately and effectively to support students’ unique needs.
3. Trauma-Informed Practices for Enhanced Engagement: Trauma-informed schools implement strategies and practices that promote student engagement. These may include creating predictable routines and structures, offering choice and autonomy, incorporating student interests into the curriculum, and utilizing experiential and hands-on learning approaches. By fostering a sense of belonging, agency, and relevance, trauma-informed practices enhance student motivation, active participation, and overall engagement in the learning process.
4. Supporting Emotional Regulation: Trauma-informed schools prioritize educating students on emotional regulation skills, recognizing that trauma can significantly impact their ability to manage and express emotions. They provide opportunities for students to learn self-regulation techniques, develop emotional literacy, and practice mindfulness or relaxation exercises. By equipping students with these skills, trauma-informed schools promote emotional well-being, resilience, and the capacity to focus on learning.

By embracing trauma-informed practices, schools prioritize the holistic well-being of students, acknowledging the importance of their social-emotional needs alongside academic growth. These practices not only create a positive and inclusive learning environment but also contribute to enhanced student engagement, emotional regulation, and overall learning outcomes. Trauma-informed schools recognize that by meeting students where they are and providing the necessary support, they can foster resilience, empower students to reach their full potential, and lay the foundation for lifelong success.

Equipping Educators with Tools for Creating Safe and Nurturing Environments

Trauma-informed classroom management and support are crucial components of creating an environment that promotes healing, growth, and success for students. To effectively implement trauma-informed practices, teachers require resources and training opportunities to enhance their understanding and skills. Here’s why it is important:

1. Building Knowledge and Awareness: Teachers need access to resources and training that provide a comprehensive understanding of trauma, its impact on students, and the principles of trauma-informed care. This knowledge equips teachers to recognize trauma-related behaviors, respond empathetically, and implement appropriate strategies to support students’ needs effectively. Classroom management can be greatly enhanced by supporting teacher training in the signs and symptoms of the various attachment disorders as well as children operating from a narrow window of tolerance. It is especially important when there is an understanding that many children display these symptoms even though they may not rise to the level of having to be removed from the classroom or require added support from paraprofessionals. If the enhancement of learning is a goal, then training teachers to be trauma informed can create greater academic success.
2. Creating Safe and Predictable Environments: Teachers can establish a trauma-informed classroom by offering opportunities for emotional and physical regulation and including these opportunities daily. According to the Canadian ACE Study, approximately 64% of Canadians reported experiencing at least one ACE. The study highlighted that ACEs are common and can have a profound impact on individuals’ physical and mental health throughout their lives. As well, according to the Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect, there were over 235,000 reported cases of child abuse and neglect in Canada in 2018. It is important to note that these figures represent reported cases and may not capture the full extent of the issue. Training helps teachers learn practical techniques to create a supportive and nurturing environment where students feel secure.
3. Fostering Positive Relationships: Building positive relationships is fundamental in trauma-informed classroom management. Teachers benefit from training that emphasizes the significance of strong teacher-student connections, active listening, and validation. By understanding the impact of trauma on relationships, teachers can cultivate an atmosphere of trust, empathy, and respect, enhancing students’ social and emotional well-being.
4. Implementing Trauma-Sensitive Teaching Practices: Trauma-informed training equips teachers with strategies for adapting their teaching practices to meet the diverse needs of students impacted by trauma. This includes incorporating choice and flexibility into assignments, providing options for self-expression, offering sensory breaks, and utilizing trauma-sensitive instructional approaches. Teachers can learn how to create a strengths-based approach that focuses on students’ resilience and potential.
5. Self-Care and Resilience-Building: Trauma-informed training should address the importance of self-care for teachers themselves. Educators need strategies for managing their own stress and fostering their resilience to prevent burnout. By prioritizing their well-being, teachers can sustain their effectiveness in the classroom and provide the necessary support to students.

Providing resources and training opportunities for teachers demonstrates a commitment to their professional growth and enhances their capacity to implement trauma-informed practices. This can be achieved through workshops, professional development programs, online resources, and access to expert guidance. By investing in training in trauma informed practices, educational institutions foster a culture of continuous learning, empathy, and understanding around trauma and ACE’s, ultimately benefiting both teachers and students. The onus should not be put on teachers to seek out their own learning materials on this matter. Providing the resources to implement trauma informed teaching practices are as relevant as providing academic teaching materials.

Embracing a Future of Resilience: The Need for Evidence-Based Practices in Education

Recognizing the paradigm shift towards evidence-based practices in education is not just a matter of embracing a passing trend; it is a vital step towards transforming the educational landscape and ensuring the success and well-being of our students. The traditional approach of education, which often focused solely on academics and neglected the social and emotional needs of students, is no longer sufficient in today’s complex world. We have come to understand that the holistic development of students requires a comprehensive understanding of their experiences, including the impact of trauma.

Advocating for the integration of trauma-informed approaches in educational policies and frameworks is not a luxury; it is an urgent necessity. The effects of trauma on students can be profound, hindering their ability to learn, engage, and reach their full potential. By acknowledging and addressing the impact of trauma, we have the opportunity to create school environments that are safe, supportive, and empowering for all students.

Encouraging collaboration between educators, administrators, and mental health professionals is a crucial part of the puzzle. The weight of responsibility cannot rest on the shoulders of teachers. They already bear the weight of countless expectations, overloaded workloads, and the immense task of shaping young minds. By fostering collaboration and partnership, we can create trauma-informed school systems where teachers feel supported, empowered, and better equipped to meet the diverse needs of their students.

When educators work hand in hand with administrators and mental health professionals, a powerful synergy is formed. It becomes a collective effort, a united front dedicated to creating nurturing and inclusive environments where students can heal, grow, and thrive. Teachers no longer feel isolated in their struggles; they have a network of support, guidance, and expertise to rely on.

Imagine a future where trauma-informed practices are deeply ingrained in the fabric of education. A future where teachers have the knowledge, skills, and resources to identify and support students who have experienced trauma or emotional dysregulation without having to rely on what was taught in university, which is woefully inadequate in equipping future teachers with the skills to navigate the landscape that is trauma and ACEs. A future where school policies, curricula, and approaches are informed by the latest research and evidence-based practices. This is the future we must strive for, where trauma-informed education is not the exception but the norm.

By recognizing the shift towards evidence-based practices and advocating for trauma-informed approaches, we can lay the foundation for a more compassionate, inclusive, and successful education system. It is a transformative journey that requires dedication, collaboration, and a collective belief in the power of education to heal and empower the whole child.

Should teachers and administrators have to deal with trauma, lack of emotional literacy and ACE’s? Absolutely not. Would it be ideal if all students had secure and functional home environments? Absolutely. However, the institutions with which our children must engage with daily is tasked with dealing with things as they are, not as we wish they could be.

The current mental health crisis facing our children is a pressing and alarming issue that demands immediate attention and concerted efforts from all stakeholders. Our children are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges that have reached crisis proportions. This crisis is multifaceted and complex, influenced by various factors in our modern society. At this point the whys are not as important as the hows.

The COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated the mental health crisis and took it from a tidal wave to a tsunami. The disruption of daily routines, social isolation, fear of illness, and the loss of loved ones have deeply affected children’s emotional well-being. The closure of schools, limited access to mental health services, and the challenges of remote learning further compounded the crisis.

To address this mental health crisis, a comprehensive and multi-faceted approach is needed. Beyond creating trauma informed schools, investments in mental health services and resources are crucial. Schools must have adequate access to qualified mental health professionals, counselors, and support staff who can provide early intervention, counseling, and referral services. Collaboration between schools, mental health organizations, and community services is essential to establish comprehensive support systems for teachers and children.

We must advocate for systemic changes and governmental policies that prioritize mental health in education and society at large. This includes adequate funding for mental health services, reducing academic pressure, promoting work-life balance, societal support and appropriate financial compensation for educators, and ensuring equitable access to resources and support for all children, regardless of their socioeconomic background.

As we navigate the evolving landscape of education, it is imperative to recognize the significance of trauma-informed practices and the impact of attachment on students’ well-being and learning. By fostering secure attachments, understanding the interplay between trauma and the window of tolerance, and embracing evidence-based practices, we can shape a future where resilience and holistic student development take center stage. Together, we can create educational environments that empower teachers and students, support optimal learning environments, and provide teachers and students with the tools they need to thrive. The government, school boards, and administrators need to started putting their words in to action and commit to follow through. Our future and the future of our children is at stake.

RESOURCES:

1. The Hincks-Dellcrest Centre: This center provides resources and training on trauma-informed practice for educators and professionals working with children and youth. They offer webinars, workshops, and publications that can help teachers create trauma-sensitive classrooms. Visit their website at: https://www.hincksdellcrest.org/Home/Our-Institute/Training-Through-the-Institute2/Trauma-Informed-Practice.aspx
2. Alberta Family Wellness Initiative: This initiative provides resources and information on brain development, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and trauma-informed practice. Their website includes videos, toolkits, and research articles that can support educators in understanding and implementing trauma-informed approaches. Access their resources at: https://www.albertafamilywellness.org/what-we-know/trauma-informed-schools
3. Trauma-Informed Practices and Approaches in Schools (TIPAS): This resource from the Ontario Ministry of Education provides guidance and practical strategies for creating trauma-informed schools. It offers an overview of trauma-informed approaches, as well as specific recommendations for supporting students who have experienced trauma. You can find it here: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/document/reports/trauma.pdf
4. Trauma-Informed Practice Guide for Educators (British Columbia): This guide, developed by the British Columbia Ministry of Education, offers insights and strategies for educators to create trauma-informed classrooms. It provides information on trauma, the impact on learning, and practical approaches for supporting students. You can access the guide here: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/education/administration/kindergarten-to-grade-12/teach/pdfs/trauma-informed_practice_guide.pdf

PODCASTS:

1. “Trauma-Informed Lens Podcast” by Dr. Allison Jackson: This podcast explores trauma-informed practices in various settings, including schools. It covers topics such as the impact of trauma on learning, self-care for educators, and strategies for creating trauma-informed classrooms. You can find it on major podcast platforms or visit the website: https://www.traumainformedlens.com/
2. “Trauma Informed Education” by Transformative Principal: Hosted by Jethro Jones, this podcast focuses on trauma-informed practices in schools. It features interviews with educators, administrators, and experts who share their insights and experiences in implementing trauma-informed approaches. You can listen to the podcast on major platforms or visit the website: https://www.transformativeprincipal.org/series/trauma-informed-education/
3. “The Trauma-Informed Educators Network Podcast” by Community Works Institute: This podcast explores trauma-informed education and social-emotional learning. It covers topics such as trauma-informed teaching strategies, self-regulation, and building resilience in students. You can find it on major podcast platforms or visit the website: https://communityworksinstitute.org/podcast/
4. “The Whole Child Podcast: Changing the Conversation About Education” by ASCD: While not solely focused on trauma-informed practices, this podcast discusses various aspects of supporting the whole child, including trauma-informed approaches. It features interviews with educators, researchers, and policymakers who share insights and strategies for creating nurturing learning environments. You can listen to it on major platforms or visit the website: https://www.learningfirst.org/wholechildpodcast

BOOKS:

1. “Fostering Resilient Learners: Strategies for Creating a Trauma-Sensitive Classroom” by Kristin Souers and Pete Hall: This book offers practical strategies for creating a trauma-sensitive classroom environment. It provides insights into the impact of trauma on learning and behavior and offers approaches for supporting students’ emotional well-being and academic success.
2. “Help for Billy: A Beyond Consequences Approach to Helping Challenging Children in the Classroom” by Heather T. Forbes: This book focuses on understanding and supporting students with challenging behaviors resulting from trauma. It provides insights into the underlying causes of these behaviors and offers practical strategies for creating a trauma-informed classroom.
3. “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.: While not specific to education, this book is a seminal work in understanding the impact of trauma on the brain and body. It explores various treatment approaches and offers insights into how trauma affects learning, behavior, and emotional well-being.
4. “Trauma-Sensitive Schools: Learning Communities Transforming Children’s Lives, K-5” by Susan E. Craig: This book focuses on trauma-sensitive practices specifically tailored for elementary schools. It offers practical strategies, case studies, and examples of trauma-informed interventions that can be implemented in the classroom and schoolwide.
5. “Creating Trauma-Informed Schools: A Guide for School Social Workers and Educators” by Caelan Kuban: This book provides a comprehensive guide to creating trauma-informed schools. It covers topics such as understanding trauma, implementing trauma-informed practices, and addressing specific needs of students who have experienced trauma.

If you’d like to book an online, one on one, or group therapy session for symptoms manifesting from trauma or adverse childhood experiences and live in Canada, you can book an appointment here.

Working Through the Challenges and Pitfalls of Mindfulness and Meditation

In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, finding moments of peace and self-care can feel like a distant dream. Perhaps you’ve heard about mindfulness and meditation, and the potential benefits they offer, but you wonder if they are truly accessible to someone like you or, you’ve tried to meditate once or twice and didn’t feel any of the benefits you assumed were going to manifest. If you are a beginner who feels skeptical or uncertain about your ability to practice, or if you’ve tried it a couple of times with no recognizable positive outcome, rest assured, you’re not alone. This blog post will aim to provide a balanced and honest approach to understand mindfulness and meditation and how you can begin a practice of mindfulness and/or meditation even if you have been disappointed with the outcome the few times you’ve tried it and want to try again.

I will not be providing a guide on how to meditate, because, each of us in our own way must determine that part of the answer. My aim is to explore some psychological barriers that can act as agents of insecurity and doubt, and to try to dispel the notion that you can’t do it. You can! You may not be able to make it into the Buddhists Hall of Fame, or sit under a bodhi tree for 49 days, but, if you want to, you can develop a practice of mindfulness and meditation that can help you manage your busy mind.

Understanding Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are related practices that involve cultivating present-moment awareness and developing a non-judgmental and accepting attitude towards one’s thoughts, emotions, and experiences. While they are often used interchangeably, there is a subtle distinction between the two.

Mindfulness is a mental state of being fully engaged in the present moment, with an open and non-judgmental attitude. It involves intentionally paying attention to the present moment and observing one’s thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment. Mindfulness encourages accepting things as they are without trying to change or judge them. It can be practiced in daily activities, such as eating, walking, or interacting with others, by bringing focused attention to the present moment.

Meditation is a practice that involves managing the mind and cultivating specific mental states, such as mindfulness, through various techniques. It is a dedicated practice that typically involves setting aside time to focus and train the mind in a specific way. There are different types of meditation practices, including mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, transcendental meditation, and many others. Meditation often involves adopting a specific posture, such as sitting or lying down, and using techniques like focusing on the breath, repeating mantras, or visualizing

For everyday people such as you and I, mindfulness and meditation are about:

• Cultivating an open and non-judgmental awareness of the present moment—of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations.
• Developing a practice that manages your attention and helps you develop a sense of inner calm and clarity.
• Becoming a part of a self-care routine.

They are NOT about:

• Striving for a perfect state of calm
• Eradicating all thoughts from your mind
• Achieving enlightenment overnight
• Reaching a state of complete bliss.

Common Challenges and Pitfalls

I’m going to be real with you about what I’ve noticed are the first two stumbling blocks in developing a practice of mindfulness and meditation.

• Having a fixed mindset – Many of us have developed a fixed mindset about what we are good at and what we are not good at over the years. Often times, when I suggest incorporating meditation or practicing mindfulness, I hear a common refrain – “I’ve tried it. I can’t meditate. I’m not good at it”. While it may be true that it does not come naturally, or that we are in fact, not good at it, that is only the first chapter of the story. The goal is not to be good at it, it is to learn how to do it the best way that suits and benefits you. In order to learn how to do it, one must practice doing it. Most of us will not be skilled in the practice of mindfulness or meditation upon trying it for the first time, the second time or even the third time.
  • The key is to set a goal of learning how to become better with practice. Imagine you are trying to construct a building where you can go to feel calm and at peace when you are feeling anxious or stressed. Each brick represents a moment of focused attention, and every meditation session or act of mindfulness serves as a vital building block in the creation of this structure. Just as your building will not created in a day, the development of focus and mindful attention requires patience and consistent effort. Each time you sit down to meditate, you lay another brick, strengthening the foundation of your mental oasis. As you continue to meditate regularly, your oasis begins to take shape, growing stronger with each added layer. Some days, it may feel like progress is slow, and your building is far from complete. But remember, every brick matters. Every moment of mindful attention contributes to the construction of your oasis, even if it’s just a single brick at a time. Each meditation session polishes the walls, carves intricate designs, and adds a touch of beauty to your mental sanctuary

• Lacking commitment – Self-care, a concept so widely discussed and advocated, often appears tantalizingly out of reach for many of us. We find ourselves caught in the web of our daily responsibilities, juggling multiple roles, and constantly prioritizing the needs of others above our own. Amidst this whirlwind of our lives, committing to self-care becomes a formidable challenge. One prominent factor in failing to commit to self-care is the misconception that self-care is selfish or indulgent. Society often places a heavy emphasis on productivity and achievement, leaving little room for us to prioritize our own well-being. We may feel guilty for taking time for ourselves, believing that it detracts from our responsibilities or that we don’t deserve such self-nurturing. Additionally, the fast-paced nature of modern life and the prevalence of constant connectivity can leave us feeling overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. We may find ourselves stuck in a perpetual cycle of busyness, constantly chasing deadlines and striving for external validation. In this state, self-care can feel like an elusive luxury we simply cannot afford.
  • For many of us, practicing mindfulness or meditation as an element of self-care requires acknowledging that we are deserving of care and compassion, just as much as anyone else. Yet, this shift can be challenging, especially if we have deeply ingrained patterns of self-neglect or have internalized societal messages that prioritize productivity over self-care. Recognizing the importance of self-care is the first step towards breaking free from these barriers. It is essential to understand that self-care is a fundamental necessity for our overall well-being. By prioritizing our physical, mental, and emotional health, we actually become more resilient, productive, and present in all aspects of our lives. Committing to self-care requires self-compassion, setting boundaries, reevaluating our priorities and carving out intentional moments for ourselves. Self-care is not a one-time event or a checkbox to mark off. It is an ongoing journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-preservation. By committing to nurturing ourselves, we not only replenish our own well-being but also become better equipped to show up for others and make a positive impact in the world.

Once we get past the first 2 stumbling blocks, we then need to be aware and prepare for some common challenges or pitfalls that people may encounter as they begin their practice:

1. Striving for a specific outcome: Trying to achieve a particular state of mind or expecting immediate results can create unnecessary pressure and hinder the experience. Mindfulness and meditation are not about striving for a specific outcome, but rather about being present with whatever arises in the moment.
2. Getting caught up in self-judgment: It’s common for individuals to judge themselves or feel frustrated when their mind wanders or they find it difficult to concentrate. Remember that self-judgment is counterproductive to the practice.
3. Overthinking or analyzing: Approaching mindfulness and meditation as a destination rather than journey can leave us open to analysis paralysis, constantly seeking solutions and judging our process.    

The Secret to Mindfulness and Meditation: Managing The Challenges and Your Expectations

It is important to keep in mind as you embark on this challenge of incorporating mindfulness and meditation as a part of a self-care routine that there’s no right or wrong way to practice mindfulness and meditation. Each person’s journey is unique, and progress is made one step at a time. Embracing mindfulness and meditation doesn’t mean you have to change who you are or strive for some unattainable ideal. It’s about embracing yourself fully, with all your strengths and imperfections, and creating space for self-reflection, growth, and well-being.

Here are some suggestions for managing some of the challenges that may come your way:

1. Acknowledgement and acceptance: If you get frustrated or judgmental about your wandering mind, simply notice and acknowledge when your thoughts drift away. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that this is normal. Bring your attention back to the present moment without self-criticism.
2. Anchoring your attention: Use an anchor to help you focus and bring your attention back whenever it wanders. This could be your breath, a specific sensation in your body, a mantra or phrase, or any other point of focus that works for you. Whenever you notice your mind drifting, gently guide your attention back to your chosen anchor.

For people who struggle with a particularly scattered or harried mind it will be important to:

• Start with shorter sessions: If maintaining focus for a longer meditation session feels challenging, begin with shorter periods of practice. Gradually increase the duration as you build your ability to sustain attention. Consistency and regularity in practice can also help train your mind to stay more focused over time.
• Start with guided meditations: Guided meditations can provide structure and guidance, which can be particularly helpful for individuals with a scattered mind. Listening to a guided meditation can help anchor your attention and provide a focus point throughout the practice
• Experiment with different techniques: There are various meditation and mindfulness techniques available, such as breath-focused meditation, body scans, loving-kindness meditation, or walking meditation. Explore different techniques and find one that resonates with you and helps anchor your attention.
• Incorporate movement or mindful activities: If sitting still and focusing on your breath feels challenging, consider incorporating movement or engaging in mindful activities. This can include practices like yoga, tai chi, or mindful walking. These activities combine physical movement with a meditative focus, which can be beneficial for those with an over-active mind.
• Practice self-compassion: It’s important to approach your meditation practice with self-compassion and without judgment. Recognize that having a scattered mind is a common experience, and it does not mean you are doing anything wrong. Instead of being critical, be gentle with yourself and bring your attention back to the present moment whenever you notice your mind wandering
• Seek guidance or support: Consider attending meditation classes or workshops where you can receive guidance and support from experienced teachers. They can offer insights, techniques, and personalized suggestions to help you work with a wandering mind.

Try to approach meditation with realistic expectations and recognize that it is just one tool among many in a holistic approach to well-being. Like any practice, it may have different effects on different individuals, and some people may resonate with it more than others.

Mindfulness and meditation have gained a significant amount of attention and popularity in recent years, and they are sometimes portrayed as a cure-all for various issues. This can lead to a certain level of hype about its benefits, and may lead some people to feel disappointed if they don’t experience outcomes they have heard about. Both mindfulness and meditation have numerous research-backed benefits for mental health and overall well-being including stress reduction, improved focus and attention, increased self-awareness, enhanced emotional regulation and greater resilience. Keep in mind that these practices can be valuable tools for many individuals, but balance your expectations by reminding yourself that they are not magical solutions that will solve all problems or work the same way for everyone.

Meditation May Not Be for Everyone

On the flip side, while meditation can be beneficial for many people, it may not be suitable or helpful for everyone in all situations. Here are a few scenarios where meditation might not be recommended or may need to be approached with caution:

• Individuals with severe mental health conditions, such as severe depression or psychosis may require specialized treatment and supervision. Meditation may not be the primary intervention in these cases and should be approached in consultation with mental health professionals.
• Some meditation practices, particularly those involving intense focus or concentration, may inadvertently trigger traumatic memories or increase feelings of anxiety for individuals with a history of trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Trauma-informed approaches to meditation or other forms of therapy may be more appropriate in such cases.
• Individuals who are actively engaged in substance abuse may find it challenging to engage in meditation or mindfulness practices while under the influence of a substance. It’s important to address substance abuse issues through appropriate treatment and support before incorporating meditation into their recovery process.

Consider mindfulness and/or meditation as an essential part of a broader self-care and wellness regimen. Complement them with other healthy habits such as physical exercise, maintaining social connections, seeking professional support when needed, and addressing any underlying issues or challenges in your life. Ultimately, the effectiveness and suitability of meditation is going to vary from person to person, so aim to approach meditation with an open mind to determine for yourself if it is beneficial for your overall well-being.

*If you have specific concerns or health conditions, it’s always recommended to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or mental health practitioner who can provide personalized guidance and support. They can help determine if meditation or other complementary practices are suitable for your unique circumstances and integrate them appropriately into your overall wellness plan.

Resources

The following are some resources that you might find helpful in getting started and making a commitment to establishing a consistent practice.

Books:

1. “The Miracle of Mindfulness” by Thich Nhat Hanh
2. “Wherever You Go, There You Are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn
3. “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
4. “Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World” by Mark Williams and Danny Penman
5. “Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation” by Sharon Salzberg
6. “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works” by Dan Harris

Webinars and Online Courses:

1. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Online Course by Jon Kabat-Zinn – available at https://www.mindfulnesscds.com/
2. Mindful.org – offers a variety of online courses and webinars on mindfulness and meditation, including “Mindfulness Fundamentals” and “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)”
3. Sounds True – provides a wide range of online courses and webinars on mindfulness, meditation, and spiritual teachings. Visit their website at https://www.soundstrue.com/ for more information.

Podcasts:

1. “The Daily Meditation Podcast” – Hosted by Mary Meckley, this daily podcast offers short guided meditations to help you start your day with mindfulness and clarity.
2. “The Mindful Kind” – Hosted by Rachael Kable, this podcast explores various mindfulness practices and provides practical tips for incorporating mindfulness into everyday life.
3. “10% Happier with Dan Harris” – Hosted by Dan Harris, this podcast features interviews with experts and explores the benefits of meditation and mindfulness in reducing stress and finding greater happiness.
4. “The Meditation Podcast” – Hosted by Jesse and Jeane Stern, this podcast offers a wide range of guided meditations, including ones for relaxation, healing, and personal growth.
5. “Tara Brach” – Tara Brach, a renowned meditation teacher and author, hosts this podcast that combines teachings, guided meditations, and insightful talks on mindfulness, self-compassion, and spiritual growth

If you’d like to book an online, one on one, or group therapy session and live in Canada, you can book an appointment here.

For those interested in booking a 1, 2, or 3-hour workshop covering a variety of mental health topics you can write to me here for more information.

Those who would like more information and/or to secure a spot at The Healing Journey Retreat in Mexico can sign up for more information here.

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Finding Balance: Navigating Emotional Healing in Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

C-PTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a psychological condition that can develop in individuals who have been exposed to repeated or prolonged traumatic events, particularly in situations where there is an imbalance of power or the trauma is inflicted by someone close, such as in cases of ongoing abuse, neglect, or captivity.

Similar to the more familiar PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) C-PTSD can been thought of as an extension of PTSD. The main difference between PTSD and C-PTSD lies in the duration and nature of the traumatic experiences. PTSD typically arises from a single traumatic event, such as a car accident, sexual assault, witnessing violence, or death or destruction. It involves experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event that causes intense fear, helplessness, or horror. The symptoms of PTSD may include intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of reminders of the trauma, and heightened arousal.

On the other hand, C-PTSD develops as a result of repeated or prolonged exposure to traumatic events, particularly in situations where there is an ongoing imbalance of power or the trauma is inflicted by someone close, such as in cases of chronic abuse, domestic violence, or childhood neglect. C-PTSD holds the symptoms of PTSD with a cumulative effect leading to a more complex set of additional symptoms related to the impact of prolonged trauma on an individual’s sense of self and their ability to regulate emotions and form relationships.

C-PTSD often involves symptoms related to emotional dysregulation, such as difficulties in managing emotions, mood swings, or a sense of emotional numbness. It may also include symptoms of dissociation, altered beliefs about oneself and the world, and challenges in forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

While both PTSD and C-PTSD share similarities in terms of symptoms and treatment approaches, C-PTSD reflects the broader impact of chronic and prolonged trauma on an individual’s psychological well-being and daily functioning.

The symptoms of C-PTSD can be grouped into four main clusters:

1. Re-Experiencing the Trauma: Similar to PTSD, individuals with C-PTSD may have intrusive thoughts, nightmares, or flashbacks related to the traumatic events they experienced. These memories can be distressing and vivid, causing the individual to feel as if they are reliving the trauma.
2. Emotional Dysregulation: C-PTSD often leads to difficulties in regulating and managing emotions. This can manifest as intense anger, irritability, or a sense of emotional numbness and detachment. Individuals may experience mood swings, have difficulty trusting others, or struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of shame or guilt.
3. Avoidance and Dissociation: Individuals with C-PTSD may engage in avoidance behaviors to protect themselves from triggering situations or reminders of the trauma. This can involve avoiding certain people, places, or activities associated with the trauma. Dissociation, a state of detachment from one’s surroundings or emotions, is also common in C-PTSD and can serve as a coping mechanism during overwhelming situations.
4. Altered Beliefs and Relationships: C-PTSD can profoundly impact an individual’s beliefs about themselves, others, and the world. They may develop negative self-perceptions, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, and a diminished sense of safety. Additionally, C-PTSD often affects relationships, leading to difficulties in establishing and maintaining healthy connections with others. Trust issues, fear of intimacy, or a tendency to repeat patterns of abusive or unhealthy relationships may emerge.

C-PTSD as well as PTSD can disrupt an individual’s window of tolerance leading to difficulties in regulating emotions, managing stress, and maintaining a sense of safety. The window of tolerance can be thought of as a zone between hyperarousal (overactivation) and hypoarousal (underactivation) states. Let’s explore these states:

1. Hyperarousal: Hyperarousal refers to a state of heightened physiological and emotional activation. When individuals with C-PTSD are triggered or experience stressors, their nervous system can become overwhelmed, leading to intense emotional reactions such as anger, panic, anxiety, or hypervigilance. This can manifest as a fight-or-flight response, with the individual feeling a sense of urgency or an intense need to escape the situation.
2. Hypoarousal: Hypoarousal, also known as dissociation or freeze response, is a state of decreased physiological and emotional arousal. It can occur as a protective mechanism when the individual perceives threat or experiences overwhelming stress. In this state, individuals may feel emotionally numb, disconnected, spacey, or detached from their surroundings. It can be challenging to engage in everyday activities or make decisions while in a hypoaroused state.

The concept of the “window of tolerance” is frequently used in the context of trauma, including C-PTSD, to describe the optimal range of emotional and physiological arousal within which an individual can effectively cope with stressors and engage in adaptive behaviors. It was first introduced by Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist.

The goal of working within the window of tolerance is to help individuals expand their capacity to tolerate and regulate their emotional experiences, without becoming overwhelmed or dissociated. Therapy and self-care strategies aim to support individuals in widening their window of tolerance by developing skills for emotional regulation and distress tolerance.

Therapists often use the window of tolerance as a framework to help clients understand their physiological and emotional responses to stress and trauma. It provides a way to conceptualize how individuals may oscillate between hyperarousal (overactivation) and hypoarousal (underactivation) states when faced with triggering situations or traumatic memories.

By working within the window of tolerance, therapists aim to support clients in expanding their capacity to tolerate and regulate their emotional experiences, without becoming overwhelmed or dissociated. This can involve various therapeutic techniques, such as grounding exercises, breathing techniques, mindfulness practices, somatic awareness, and the development of emotion regulation skills.

The window of tolerance is not only a conceptual framework for therapists but also a practical tool that individuals can use to better understand their own emotional states and develop strategies for self-regulation. It helps individuals recognize when they are within their optimal range of functioning, identify when they are being pushed beyond their capacity to cope, and engage in self-care or seek support to return to a regulated state.

Here are some suggestions to help expand the window of tolerance:

1. Trauma-focused therapy: Approaches like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy specifically address the impact of trauma on the window of tolerance. These therapies aim to help individuals process and integrate traumatic experiences, develop coping skills, and regulate their emotions more effectively.
2. Grounding techniques: Engaging the senses and focusing on the present moment can help anchor individuals who are experiencing hyperarousal or dissociation. This can include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, or sensory-based activities such as touching or smelling objects.
3. Emotional regulation strategies: Learning to identify and regulate emotions is essential for managing the intensity of emotional triggers. This can involve techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, journaling, or engaging in creative outlets.
4. Self-care and stress reduction: Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and self-care can help individuals maintain their equilibrium and reduce the risk of being pushed beyond their window of tolerance. This can include activities like exercise, spending time in nature, practicing hobbies, or seeking social support.

Managing symptoms related to C-PTSD typically involves a multifaceted approach. Medication, such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may also be suggested to manage specific symptoms like depression or anxiety.

Expanding the window of tolerance is a gradual and individualized process. Working with a trained therapist who specializes in trauma can provide guidance, support, and evidence-based techniques to help individuals navigate their emotional triggers and enhance their overall well-being. It’s highly recommended to seek professional help from a mental health provider experienced in trauma and C-PTSD to receive appropriate diagnosis, treatment, and support tailored to individual needs.

Other supportive interventions such as self-care practices and building a strong support network are also crucial for individuals with C-PTSD.

*It’s important to note that the diagnosis of C-PTSD is not yet recognized in all diagnostic manuals but is included in the ICD-11 (International Classification of Diseases, 11th Revision) by the World Health Organization.

For more reading about C-PTSD and The Window of Tolerance:

“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

• This book explores the impact of trauma on the body and mind, including C-PTSD. It delves into the concept of the window of tolerance and offers insights into healing from trauma.

“Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker

• Pete Walker, a licensed therapist, shares his expertise on C-PTSD and provides practical guidance for individuals on the journey to recovery. The book covers the window of tolerance, grounding techniques, emotional regulation, and other essential aspects of healing.

“Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy” by Pat Ogden, Kekuni Minton, and Clare Pain

• This book explores the interconnection between trauma, the body, and the window of tolerance. It presents the Sensorimotor Psychotherapy approach, which focuses on body-based interventions for healing trauma and expanding the window of tolerance.

“Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists” by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart

• This comprehensive resource offers insights into understanding and treating dissociation in individuals with complex trauma, including C-PTSD. It addresses the window of tolerance and provides practical skills training for both therapists and individuals dealing with dissociative symptoms.

“Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma” by Peter A. Levine

• Peter Levine explores the impact of trauma on the nervous system and provides insights into resolving trauma and restoring resilience. While not specifically focused on C-PTSD, it offers valuable perspectives on trauma recovery and the window of tolerance

If you’d like to book an online, one on one, or group therapy session for symptoms manifesting from trauma and live in Canada, you can book an appointment here.

For those interested in booking a 1, 2, or 3-hour workshop covering a variety of mental health topics you can write to me here for more information.

Those who would like more information and/or to secure a spot at The Healing Journey Retreat in Mexico can sign up for more information here.

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Managing The Physical Manifestations of Childhood Trauma Through Inner Child Work and Somatic Therapies

Inner child work is an approach to trauma recovery and healing that involves building trust and connection between your present-day adult self and your inner child. It is an essential part of therapy for those who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, or any other type of trauma from early life. This approach focuses on helping survivors to gently access their feelings and memories associated with traumatic events, while also providing a safe place to express, explore and ultimately heal these wounds.

The goal of inner child work is to help survivors reconnect with their vulnerable, younger selves in order to better understand how trauma has affected them. Through understanding why they may be feeling certain emotions or acting in certain ways due to past trauma, they can begin to heal. Working with their inner child can help survivors build empathy towards themselves as well as gain insight into how connecting with the “inner child” – the part of us that carries our earliest memories and experiences of emotion, relationships, and security can help with feelings of unworthiness or feeling unlovable. Inner child work can help adults better understand their needs in the present moment by exploring how they experienced childhood traumas or difficult situations.

When beginning inner child work, it is important for survivors to be self-compassionate and not rush or force any process. A therapist can help a survivor maintain a safe space during this vulnerable journey. It is also beneficial to employ the use of creative outlets such as music, drawing, writing, or other expressive modalities to further explore feelings and memories that may have been buried deep down in the subconscious mind.

Inner child work can provide trauma survivors with an opportunity to heal from past wounds and ultimately learn how to take better care of themselves in the present moment. With courage, patience and dedication to the healing process, survivors can gain insight into their current symptoms and behaviors in order to eventually manage psychosocial challenges due to childhood traumas.

Additionally, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a well-researched trauma intervention that can be used in combination with inner child work to help survivors release the pain associated with traumatic memories that get stored in their bodies. Along with inner child work and somatic therapies, psychoeducation can also help put the pieces of the puzzle together by helping survivors of childhood trauma understand the physiology of the emotional regulation processes, such as discussed in the polyvagal theory. If we understand how our nervous system responds to threat, sometimes outside of our conscious awareness, we can better guide ourselves towards regulating our emotions and feeling safe.

Inner child work is an invaluable tool for survivors of childhood trauma, as it provides them with the opportunity to explore their feelings and reactions from a place of curiosity rather than fear or shame. With compassion and patience this process can lead to healing, understanding and ultimately a more positive relationship with self.

If you have any question about what you have read or would like to know more about inner child work, EMDR or polyvagal theory please contact me:

https://linktr.ee/ljbandassociates

References:

Levine, P., & Frederick, A. (1997). Waking the tiger: healing trauma: The essential guide to restoring the wisdom of your body. North Atlantic Books.

Schore, A. N. (2003). Affect regulation and the repair of the self. W.W Norton & Company.

Van Der Kolk, B., Spinazzola, J., Blaustein, M., Hopper, J., Hopper, E., Korn, D., … & Van der Hart, O. (2007). Traumatic stress: The effects of overwhelming experience on mind, body and society. Guilford Press.

Siegel D.(2010), The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

Schwartz, R.(2009). The Art of Inner Child Healing- Creative Pathways to Healing Your Inner self. Conari Press.

Shields, S., (2019) Exploring inner child work as a trauma intervention: An integrative approach. International Journal of Mental Health Promotion, 21(3), 125-136. doi:10.1080/14623730.2019.1587052

Ogden P., Pain C., Fisher J., & Minton K.(2006). Trauma and the body: A sensorimotor approach to psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company.

van der Hart, O., Nijenhuis, E., Steele, K.(2006). The haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). W.W. Norton & Company.

Miller, S., & Williams-Keeler, L.(2019). EMDR Therapy for Healing Childhood Trauma: A Guide for Therapists and Clients in Words and Pictures (The Guilford Practical Intervention in the Schools Series). Guilford Publications.

Maroda, K.(2010). The power of countertransference: Innovations in analytic technique .